Sikcell: People living with Sickle Cell
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How do you cope with a big move? Living in NYC with SCD?
Hey y'all.
Ive been given the amazing opportunity to go to school in NYC and although I want to go, I'm afraid. All my life I've had the support of my family and friends in coping with sickle cell and here I'll be cut off from them. Medical school is stressful enough, and I fear that the additional stress of just the day-to-day living in NYC (the hustle, the walking, the pollution, the COLD, the HOT [ever seen Do the Right Thing?]) might make this a bad idea. I was also accepted to a school close to home where I'll still have my fam & friends and the climate is much milder, but I feel the NY school is better for career and personal development.
I hate living in fear like this, and not seizing opportunities out of fear, but bein real with myself I can't just ignore all the drawbacks of living in NY with SCD. Has anyone ever done a big move like this? How did your body cope? How did you cope with the lack of a support network?
For those who've lived in NYC, is it a grind with sickle cell? How does it compare to other cities? Should I go for the safest option or seize this great opportunity?
All thoughts, comments, questions would be appreciated. It's great that this community exists for us to dialog about all the unique situations that we deal with as SCD patients.
Ive been given the amazing opportunity to go to school in NYC and although I want to go, I'm afraid. All my life I've had the support of my family and friends in coping with sickle cell and here I'll be cut off from them. Medical school is stressful enough, and I fear that the additional stress of just the day-to-day living in NYC (the hustle, the walking, the pollution, the COLD, the HOT [ever seen Do the Right Thing?]) might make this a bad idea. I was also accepted to a school close to home where I'll still have my fam & friends and the climate is much milder, but I feel the NY school is better for career and personal development.
I hate living in fear like this, and not seizing opportunities out of fear, but bein real with myself I can't just ignore all the drawbacks of living in NY with SCD. Has anyone ever done a big move like this? How did your body cope? How did you cope with the lack of a support network?
For those who've lived in NYC, is it a grind with sickle cell? How does it compare to other cities? Should I go for the safest option or seize this great opportunity?
All thoughts, comments, questions would be appreciated. It's great that this community exists for us to dialog about all the unique situations that we deal with as SCD patients.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ade Dotun on
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I say def go for the opportunity, dont let SCD stop u from achieving your goals and dreams, of course there are going to be sacrifices u would have to make, but u can do it. i never leaved in NY, but i visit and it shouldn't be too much of a hassle taking the subway around, and in the winter, just make sure u dress really warm and wear plenty of layer. good luck
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Permalink Reply by Sickle Cell Warrior on
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I've only visited NYC, but I've lived in Baltimore, MD which is a similar climate, though not temperament. Moving away from home was one of the most exhilirating choices of my life. Don't take me wrong, there were times that I missed having my family close, but striking out on my own just solidified my own independence as a person. Since moving away from home when I was 18 to college, I've lived in cities and countries far away from my family. Once you do it, you realize that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for and you really can survive.
Make sure your medical files are transferred with you and that you make good contact with your doctor. NYC hospitals are notorious for treating SCD patients harshly, mostly because they group them with drug addicts, so having a doctor that has your back should be your first priority.
I also have an emergency fund for when I'm sick. I save money when I'm healthy into a bank account that my sister has access to. When I fall sick, I just give her a call and she's there on the next available flight. It's my emergency SCD fund, and that way if I'm really sick and need to be hospitalized, I still have an advocate by myself. Having friends who knew about my condition and gave me a hand when I needed it also helped. Make sure you communicate your condition to your school (at the school clinic, ask for the rep for handicapped students), so that you can be given some leniency if you miss classes due to illness.
Most of the time we just fear the unknown. With proper planning, you can make the transition and enjoy yourself in NYC!
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Permalink Reply by P.Allen Jones on
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I have made many big moves, from jobs to locations. All big moves have an impact on your body. The key is to think about the impacts and plan for them...You're already doing that.
Now, if the NYC move is good for career, great. But, if stressors of living in this new place (unknown health care, higher expenses, no support system) get you down. Then, they could be a bad factor...which could trigger health problems. Don't forget the stress of being in school...that will be enough to deal with.
If being closer to home will eliminate those other stressors, then you will complete school anyway (healthy). I have reached for the stars too....but with my health as #1 priority. Good Luck and God Bless (congrats too)
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Permalink Reply by Ali on
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Hello Kevin H,
I wish you the best with your decision. I was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. You will be able to handle the climate. Buy the proper attire, such as warm socks, thermals, good boots, hat, scarf, gloves and coat. I support your move. I too have been fearful of moving away from my family and now I regret it. Spread your wings and fly. I hope that your family will be a car ride or plane ride away.
I agree with SC Warrior. Make sure that you have your records and a recommended physician to care for you. I lived in Poughkeepsie NY which is considered upstate NY and is at least 10 degrees colder than NYC. I did have many crisises while living there. I am not providing this info. to discourage you, just to inform you.
You would make a compassionate physician. I hope that you have the support of your family. Once you start school, I am sure that you will gain the support of your fellow students. Try to go to the better school. If things don't work out you can always go back home. The road is not one way.
Good Luck and May God Bless You,
Ali
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Permalink Reply by B. Jewell on
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I had to move out-of-state away from my immediate family because the healthcare back home was EXTREMELY lacking, and I had to drive/be driven 3 hours one way just to get to my doctor and hospital anytime I got sick. I also had to do the same for each appointment, which were scheduled weekly at times. Though where I live is no where on the scale of NYC and the climate is much more temperate, it was still an adjustment. Here it snows regularly in winter (mid-state North Carolina) as it doesn't back home (mid-state South Carolina). Though its only one state over, I am 2.5 hours away from the nearest family member. Its just me and my daughter (13 mos) here, and I have my SO who lives about 18 miles away. That's essentially it.
As far as coping with my SCD, whenever I get sick I have to meet my family half-way and drive 1.5 hours at least to give them my daughter, and if I'm too sick to drive then they have to come all the way up here. I don't know what would happen in a situation where I had to be rushed to the hospital. I would have to call my SO to get my daughter or my adopted father who has two sons my age with SC. I hope that day never comes because I hate to put people in inconvenient situations like that.
I have had the opportunity to move back home near family, but I weighed my options and obviously God and I decided against it. No jobs came open for me, no apartments fitting my needs were available, and don't even get me started on the trifelin' ass doctors and hospitals there. To make a long story short, I got the apartment I wanted/needed, got a job where I can work from home so I don't have to put my baby in daycare all week, started dating my SO, and was able to stay near my doctor and hospital which are ranked #1 in the Southeast United States. All these things came through/worked out within one month. God opened the doors necessary for me to stay where I am and to flourish here. I know that if I moved back home I would be near family, yes, but what's the point when I was often sick due to family stressors and had to fly back up the road to this very city to the hospital anyway?!
I have attempted to move away from home many times but was always held back by my illness. I was on my way to taking a new job with a major bank in Atlanta when I had to cancel due to illness. The same for finishing my degrees...due to SCD I have been out of college a lot. I would not allow this disease to hold me back from anything I wanted to do, because life is short. SCD was only able to hold me back because I was physically unable to move, being in and out of the hospital so frequently. Today is a new day.
If you are a religious/spiritual person I would say pray about it. God always knows what we need and what's best for us. I thought God wasn't moving fast enough in my situation as my lease date was coming to a close and I needed to move and find a place ASAP. But, he came right on time and my daughter and I are doing great. Just wanted to share. I wish you the best in whatever you decide and hope it all works out! We all know how hard life is, and especially how hard it is for a young person with SCD trying to pursue life goals.
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Permalink Reply by Kevin H on
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Hey all,
Thank you for those detailed responses, they were all very helpful and I felt myself relating to the emotions and ideas you all were weighing. I ended up going to NY ready to move in, but I had a discussion with the staff at the hospital where I would be getting my treatment, and got a negative vibe. Sickle Cell Warrior, I definitely saw what you were referring to when saying NYC hospitals have a reputation for treating SCD patients poorly.
So I decided to come back home. P. Allen Jones, you're right that school is intense in itself, and medical school is even more intense and even people without SCD in med school frequently get burned out, exhausted, and feel physical pain due to the constant stress. I imagine it could be even worse for me. I feel I made the right choice and will just put as much effort as I can to make up for the fact that NYC had more opportunities.
I may move later on, your answers have given me the confidence to know that people do it and it usually works out if you prepare well. I will wait until there's a hospital I feel more comfortable in, and will likely wait until I'm doing something less intense than medical school.
I just finished my first week of med school and it's been great :) Amazing classmates and the staff seem supportive.
Stay blessed people!
Kevin
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Hey Kevin,
Thanks for getting back to us and telling us where you ended up. It was good that you made the decision weighing in all the factors. I hope med school flies by quickly and you will be able to reach all your dreams, goals and aspirations.
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