For years I have struggled to understand who I am. I can't say how many times I have wondered what my life would've been like had I not had SC. Would I have had children? Would I have earned a college degree? Would I still suffer from depression? There's an enormous host of 'what ifs' that have run across my mind, but I always come back to the truth. My reality.

The truth is that I do have Sickle Cell Anemia. The truth is that I didn't go to college because I was too lazy to apply myself ...even when exceptions were made for me. The truth is that I don't have children because I wanted to enjoy my twenties and I knew that having children would interrupt my life. I was scared, thought I had time and wanted to be married. The truth is that statistically speaking, sickle cell aside, I would probably still be a 40 year old childless and un-married professional black woman. It is also true that there are factors outside of SC that have also contributed to my sometimes self-destructive behavior. I've always been a little hard-headed...some of my choices earlier on in my life more than likely would have lead me down Depression Road anyway.

The truth is that none of those things matter because but for having SC, I doubt that I'd know or understand me as well as I do today.

The truth is that SC has altered my life tremendoulsy, but in retrospect it has been for my betterment. Because of SC I know exactly what I'm made of...and it ain't no junk! I know where I stand and who holds my hand.

I don't know where my path will lead me but what I do know is that my steps have been walked out by God Himself. I have mapped my position and I am headed in the right direction. SC has challenged my faith, tried my patience, tested my endurance and ultimately introduced me to my own my strength.

I am STRONG! A whole lot stronger than than I ever could've imagined. Being strong is not optional. I have had to be strong to endure crisis after crisis, year after year. SC ain't no punk disease! (I know you'll know what I mean by this) I mean you really have to be strong to get through the struggle. Not just to endure the pain and suffering but to endure the mental wear and tear on your mind. You have to be strong in order to survive....in order to be your own advocate. You have to be strong to continue to fight when you're exhausted and when your hope is on the verge of expiring.

I've asked God 'why' a million times or more. The truth is that I may never know why SC is a cross that I must bare, but the most beautiful truth is that I have survived everything that I never thought I would make it through and that's beautiful!