We still Hope
I don't know about you guys but I am pretty fed up with hospitals and doctors. One minute they are telling me they believe my pain is real and other times they are telling me its all in my mind. I have had my kidney since 2015, before my kidney my pain was manageable because I was on things like Ibuprofen. But now since I have a new Kidney (Thank you daddy!) I can't have many things, so right after surgery they put me on Dilaudid but now 3 years later your telling me its my fault im on these meds? Or since im not a cancer patient I cant get medication that will decrease my pain? I fight myself to go to work, by the time I get home my legs hurt so bad I cant walk, the pills don't work much anymore and the doctors are now refusing me treatment. I was told I go into the ER too often when my doctor has a way I don't have to visit and ER because he made up the home treatment center and even enrolled me into it but says its not suppose to be used every month, like once every six months or twice a year.
Right now I am currently in the hospital because I got so sick at home I was running fevers and having other symptoms for two days or longer but I tried to not go to the ER because I was afraid one of them would send me home and say there was nothing wrong with me. I knew I felt horrible because at times when my levels drop I start passing out at random times but I was awake for 3 days straight, and I couldn't drink much. These hospitals and Doctors are really making me feel some type of way, they don't listen...why would I waste my time sitting in an ER if I wasn't in extreme pain just because im not crying or look like im hurt doesn't mean its not there. I have just developed a very good mask to put over so people weren't all in my business asking me every five seconds if I was alright. I understand people just want to help but sometimes my mouth hurts too much to speak, or my head hurts too much to hear my own voice. Why am I being treated like a criminal when all I ever wanted was to not be in pain and spend my days working and writing.