Sikcell: People living with Sickle Cell
We still Hope
As far as dating goes
How long should you wait to tell the person your in a relationship that you have sickle cell? Are you wrong for wanting to wait a while to see how things work out in the relationship before you tell them?......I've been in a relationship for almost 3 years and i waited till i was about 4 months into it before i told him that i had sickle cell. I didnt tell him that it can cause a short life span because i didn't wanna scare him away. So i was just wondering how long have you waited before telling your bf/gf that you have sickle cell?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Sickle Cell Warrior on
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I usually wait until around the 3rd month anniversary. Once I know that this isn't a flighty short term thing. I"ve never had a problem with telling someone too early, or too late, it just depends on the relationship and the guy. My fiance now, I told him 3 months into it, and he showed up the next day with all kinds of researched info and questions. That pretty much snagged my heart right there. The short lifespan thing, I did tell him...and usually when I tell others it freaks them out and sends them running. But he told me "you are going to live until you are an old woman, and I'm going to make sure of that." He stays up to date with the latest research, and is always investigating new approaches to manage my disease.
Okay, let me stop gushing about my boo now...lol.
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Permalink Reply by Twyla Clark on
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WOW!!!!! You are BLESSED with a good man too, I see!!! My husband is the BEST!!!! I love him dearly! He had known me for almost 13yrs. ans so I didn't have to break the news to him cus he already knew! He is VERY understanding and has my back at all times! He is my blessing and I thank God daily for blessing me & my son with a loving husband!!! So happy for you!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Princess Aleah on
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thanks for your input. I thought i was the only one that chose to wait
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Permalink Reply by Kim Davis on
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The time to tell is "the right time for you" and when it comes, I believe you will know it.
I do, however, think that you should definitely be at a point in your relationship where you believe that the person you're with is worth the investment of your time, energy and effort. You should have a pretty good feel for what type of person you are dealing with and that feeling should be based off of evidence...how that person already treats you.
People show you how they feel about you. What does the evidence say?
Like I said, I believe you will know.
That's just my two cents ;-)
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Thanks Ms.Davis.
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Permalink Reply by *Shawnii* on
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I normally slip in there some how in the first month or so of us talking. I dont go into depth about it unless they ask but I at least try to tell them so they can understand why I do certain things. Especially when they suggest doing things that i know may affect my health....I never waited because 1. they normally would end up finding out before 3 months cause i get sick alot....and 2. I always feel like im hiding something important from them, almost feels like im not being honest.
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Permalink Reply by Veon A. McGlory on
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Sweetie i have had relationships where i waited to tell that person and they where like yeah what is it sickle cell and i told them then a few days later we where breaking up always some excuse why they could'nt be with me. But i told my current boyfriend on the second date we went on and he was like what is it i told him and he said yeah i think my uncle and cousin has that. He went home and looked it up on the internet then he called me and said im here for whatever you go through. Now in the early day of our relationship when i would go to the hospital he would'nt come up to the hospital he says that he did'nt want to be in the way. Well now days he comes up and stays the night with me. When im in the hospital i like friday nights cause he'll stay friday night then most of saturday with me. He'll come up during the week but he has to leve about 6:30a.m. so he can go to work. Basically what im saying is that you have some guys that will say to you know what i cant handle this and let them be, but you have a good guy that because he did'nt let sickle cell run him off
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Thanks for your response. I know some guys just cant seem to handle it. I'm happy that i actually found someone who is willing to be with me despite of SS.
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I feel like any guy who can't deal with it and decides to run wasn't good for me anyways! A real man is ready and willing to make it wrk thru the pain and all and weak men RUN!!!! I've lost too many to name due to my illness but I figured dat was God's way of tellin me tht I deserved BETTER and I got it!!! I have a loving husband and we are on our 2nd yr. of marriage!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Bre on
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Me and my bf were dating a year before i told him. I hardly ever tell anyone I date because I am ashamed. The only reason my current bf knows is because I got pregnant and wanted him to get tested. I admire you all for being able to tell ur SO so soon. My bf doesnt treat me any different, he feels the same about me as hedid when we met and I was so relieved. Ive never really bothered to tell some of my friends and boyfriends because I felt they would look at me like I hve a third eye but I am so glad I have him because it simply isnt an issue.
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Permalink Reply by BaileyBelle on
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I told my boyfriend (now husband) after a few weeks. After 6 months of being together I had a crisis (and turned a lovley shade of yellow). 8 months after that I had another. He stuck by me through it all, even though he didn't really understand the amount of pain I was in. There were times when I told him he could go, cause I never knew I would be sick. In the 4 years we have been together he has been to countless doctor's appointment with me and hospital day trips. I sometimes worry about how the sickle cell will affect me as I age, but I know he will also be there for me
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