Angry or am I just being irrational, Im 16 its 5:15 and I cant seem to catch some sleep
Uncontrollable emotions followed by an uncontrollable pain
As I write tears are flowing, and I can feel the blood sickle through my veins
Im so sick and tired of living this life, but who is to blame. I've never been so afraid to die, a feeling of incompetence makes me feel ashamed
I have a appointment tomorrow to talk about transfusions. Because I've had acute chest over 12 times, in the last five years, and my lungs just cant seem to catch a break
Im worried because this is a pain that I have never felt, I feel like there is some sort of contraption holding on to my chest, back and ribs, which I can feel in my every breath.
Im so sick of this taste in my mouth,
I reek of morphine and antibiotics, but I still put a smile on my face,
Yet I feel as though my family doesnt truly understand
Sometimes I sit back and wonder why?
Why in the world do I have this FUCKED UP disease,
it makes me stronger, but its still sucks,
But i only have two questions
When does life get better, and when will my pain end?