Ok, so the other day the new guy that I talk to was over. Somehow the discussion of kids came up. (He has the trait of sickle cell so the chances of us having a child
with sickle cell are high). He expressed to me how he didn't want a sick baby & kept asking me if our child would be sick, etc. He really stomped me. Not because of his question but because it was the first time I had to deal with the reality of not being normal. Im a pretty strong minded person & mentally sickle cell never affects me. I am truly a warrior. Never have I ever let my illness deter me or get me down. But when he asked me that question, for the first time ever in my 22 years, I felt ashamed...I felt like I wasnt good enough. He then went on to say how it would be stressful and hard on our families and etc. That was the part that really got me because I HAVE SICKLE CELL! I know exactly how it impacts your life and your families life. It was like he was preaching to the choir!!! But in my opinion, and I know many of you wont agree, having a baby with sickle cell isnt the end of the world. I have sickle cell and I thank god everyday that my parents decided to continue to have me. YES I go through things, yes i have hard times but such is life...everyone is dealt with their own set of cards...this just happen to be my hand...
So my question is...has there ever been a time where you've felt ashamed of your illness?
No NEVER My dad told me that the best day of his life is when I made it into the world with SICKLE CELL, with ASTHMA, and I was a prime baby. I never felt ashamed because my father gave everything to keep me alive he would have sold the clothes off his own back to give me life. Yes I'm a daddy's girl and I watch my father sit in the hospital with me holding back tears every time they had to tell him more bad news. So am I ashamed? excuse my language but HELL NO I would like a child sickle cell or not. like I always say "I have Sickle cell, Sickle cell doesn't have me!" so no hon you shouldn't feel ashamed I guess explain to him what you want and that you will give anything to have a child with him and you two would do anything to raise that child.
I have often felt/feel ashamed. That's prob why over about 95% of the people I know don't know I have Sickle Cell. I never want people to feel sorry for me or think that I'm weak. Now that I'm older I'm starting to get a bit more comfortable with it but still not that comfortable.Having those conversations about having babies used to make me feel the same way... Like why the bleep can't I be normal. I too feel kinda feel that having a baby with Sickle Cell is not the end of the world.